In the days leading up to April Fool’s Day (the start date of my lease for the new studio), I became quite anxious about the timeline I laid out for myself to open the doors, feeling as if I should start hosting events & classes as quickly as possible – in part because I’ve been out of circulation a while, but also in part out of an urge to recoup the new expense of rent.
At the same time, I was exceptionally busy with clients, working more hours at NCWW and saying yes to too many things, so I wasn’t getting the “white space” I need to think creatively, especially about new projects.
So that Sunday morning, as soon as I woke up with my racing thoughts, I took my anxious self to the gym. While my overactive nervous system discharged excess energy on a cross-training machine, I read a passage on attachment in Sharon Salzberg’s book Lovingkindness. (If you want to know what I mean by “attachment,” here is a good description from zenhabits.net.)
I’d been obsessing about when to begin my classes, when to host open house events, what the events would entail, what kind of invitations to send, what kind of help do I need … and on and on. My original timeline had most of the action occurring during Spring Break for local schools, as well as Passover and Easter holidays. This seemed like potentially poor timing for opening events. So of course I concluded that I should be up & running before then – which would have created a serious – maybe impossible – time crunch that just isn’t consistent with how I like to work, particularly if I am to be a nice, happy person at the same time.
Meanwhile, glancing at CNN on the gym television, I was reminded of the MUCH bigger world outside my head, in which an entire airplane of people had gone missing, and still other people were trapped under a landslide in Washington state. On top of that, a dear friend was dealing with a very sad family tragedy – the kind of close-to-home event that makes you take stock in your own priorities.
What does this have to do with my new studio?
Upon those reflections, I got a new perspective on my worries about the studio opening schedule.
Racing to open and worrying about one month’s rent seems contradictory to everything I’ve been working toward for myself and my clients – which is to help our bodies and minds feel better in a world that can really challenge us if we let it. So I thought: A little flexibility in my self-imposed schedule is an important investment in my sanity while building this foundation I have been dreaming of to support your health AND mine.
Still on the cardio machine in the gym, after making what felt like a big decision to delay the opening schedule, my body finally drew oxygen all the way into the bottom of my lungs. I felt my shoulders relax and my jaw soften. I may have even smiled.
Opening a little later than originally planned does not by itself warrant a whole blog post.
But it presented an opportunity to introduce you to the nature of my little dream space, which is not just about “fitness.” In fact, it’s less about fitness than about life – a good life in which we feel as well as we can in our bodies, so we can appreciate our lives and support each other to our fullest capacity.
And for me to do that, I need more time. Given that one of my goals for the studio is to share with others the gift of blending mindfulness and movement, it would be quite hypocritical of me to burn midnight oil and stress myself out trying to reach an arbitrary deadline for opening.
I’m so grateful (another thing we will practice in the studio) to have had jobs that compensated me well, parents who taught me to save money and a spirit that was never too materialistic. From a practical standpoint, I can afford to take a little time setting up my new space. From a mental health standpoint, I can’t afford not to.
PS -Just to be clear, I AM set up and seeing private clients! You can schedule an appointment with me here. Opening events, classes and the new super-functional website are slightly delayed. You can stay tuned by signing up for email here